Eyelashes and a Hair Wash

Today has been such a lazy day.

Started the morning with my favorite person resting on my shoulder, then Mommy-cooked cinnamin raisin french toast with chocolate milk and fresh strawberries. My day then consisted of reading the newspaper, waiting for Nate to get back from a run by sitting on the front porch in my mom's rocking chair, hanging out with Nate and mi madre by the pool and watching a bit of soccer (congrats Brazil). Once The Great left to go back to the city, I decided it was time to get in the shower and feel human for once today.

After my shower, my mom asked if she could wash my hair. Can you believe it? I actually have enough hair to wash!!!!

So, after that, we began talking about how much hair I have - and to mine and my mom's surprise, I have little eyelash stubs too! They're finally coming in!!

So, our guess is, that within the next two weeks, I'll actually have a "shaved head" type haircut and little stubby eyelashes. YEY!!!

Now, I'm currently celebrating by having some Oreo's dunked in milk served in a stemless martini glass. Whoever said you need alcohol to celebrate obviously has never had Oreo's (or cancer).

Check out this pic -- I'm using my mom's webcam so you can see my hair!

Beautious Tatas!

So, I've had my exchange surgery (reconstructive surgery) and am currently recovering back at home.

My surgery was on Wednesday, June 24 at 7am, and by 8:30am, I had beautiful brand new tatas. My mom, sister and Nate the Great accompanied me. Those three are my trio of protection. They make everything better and can get me through anything.

The surgery was considered to be outpatient, but when the nurses thought it was time for me to leave, I could barely lift my head, let alone get in the car with my family to head home. Nate went back to work after I was getting out of recovery and continued to call every 1/2 hour to check in. After my mom and sister became friendly with all of the patients and their families at the hospital, we stayed until 7pm when I was actually able to walk. Ugh. All the while Nate was keeping a very exciting secret.

When we pulled into the driveway, I saw a very familiar black Jetta with Maryland license plates. I began to cry. It was Colleen's car!

I started to get out of the car (needing help of course) and my mom ran in the back. My sister helped me out and we began to walk inside. Immediately, both Meaghan and Colleen came running up to me with a big hug welcoming me home from surgery.

At this point, I was so excited to see them that suddenly my pain felt lessened and I was just so happy to see my girls. They showered me with presents -- food (yummy lasagna), flowers, bracelet charms and dessert. Then, we received an Edible Arrangement full of fresh fruit and chocolate from my 2 favorite Koreans! I could not stop thanking them. They drove 4 hours to come up and see me! I felt so bad because all the while, they were chatting with Nate to see when we were supposed to get home. And it was originally supposed to be 1pm! So they had waited at my house since the afternoon reading bridal magazines and eating delicious spinach dip waiting for me! Then, at 10pm, they drove home! I have the most amazing friends.

So, now it's Saturday, Nate is here and Dana, Steve, Chris and Michele just left. My mom and Jabe are going on a date so Nate and I are in for an ice cream and movie night.

I'm in a lot of pain - feeling pressure from the surgery and just feeling a little drugged from the Percaset... but having my family and friends around me to keep me smiling and laughing helps me forget all that's going on. I can't imagine going through this without them. With each step, we celebrate. My hair is growing at a steady rate and I'm really starting to look like a true fuzz ball. Plus, I have new beautious tatas! Yey!

Bittersweet Move

Yesterday was the first day of a whole new chapter for me. It was a bittersweet day because as I looked around my empty apartment in Hoboken, I realized the past 3 years have been so careless, without a worry in the world. And in the last 6 months, my entire world has turned around in good ways and obviously bad.

I moved back in with my mom and JB. The move was fine; a bit tiring, but more emotional than anything else. Steve, Dana, Nate, Matt and Kevin helped out. And although only few tears had been shed (due to my sister and Rhianna’s song Umbrella), moving back home made The Big C, all that more real.

This coming Wednesday is my exchange surgery and for some reason, I’m so much more anxious about this surgery than I was about the mastectomy. Back in January, it was all so new and so shocking that I just did it. Now, I’ve been anticipating this day and can’t believe it’s here already. The good thing is, this means Chapter 4 will be over! One more success to celebrate!

Oh, PS – Colleen got engaged! Now that’s Meaghan and Colleen! YIPPEEEEE!!

Down Days

After a very long day of work, I went to my boyfriend's house to rest up before heading out to dinner on Friday night. I had been looking forward to this, so I really wanted to push myself to make it happen.

We ended up going to a beautiful restaurant called House on the Lower West Side and the food was amazing. Nate was as sweet as ever and his friends were great as always.

This morning, I woke up, felt ok, and was ready to start my day. I had a party scheduled for later in the afternoon and was heading back to Hoboken with a bald head and little makeup, but felt excited for the party. Then the day just took a "Down" turn. Got on the F train, and a man asking for money started harassing me in front of many many strangers about my bald, fuzzy head. He asked me a question and I simply told him to go away. I felt frustrated. I felt embarrassed. Why'd he have to pick on me? Is it not bad enough that I have this alien looking haircut, that someone needs to start saying comments to me? And during my trip home, at least 3 children tugged at their parents' shirts pointing and staring and not understanding why "that lady" doesn't have any hair.

Normally, I take the looks and don't care. But for some reason today, it hurt. A lot.

Then, I took the long way home from the PATH train. I walked the whole way. Stopped off to buy myself a new shirt to wear to the party (and to make myself feel better), but as I was trying on clothes, I couldn't stop looking at myself with no hair and little makeup. I looked sick. And when I look sick, I get sad, frustrated, pissed off and truley and utterly upset.

When I finally reached my apartment, it was another disappointment. I looked around and saw all the boxes that are filled with all my stuff. Everything I own that I'm taking back to my mom's house when I move in with her after my reconstructive surgery. Then, I started an official pity party for myself.

Why did this have to happen to me?
Why do I have to be bald?
Why can't I just be like every other 27 year old woman and live my life?
Why do I have to leave Hoboken? I'm not ready yet!
This isn't fair!!!

Then, I start to cry. But as always, after only seconds of crying and whining, I realize this is stupid. This situation SUCKS, but it happened and it's saving my life and I have to suck it up, put on a smile and get ready for this party.

So, I downloaded the song from Sex and the City the Movie (when Carrie is at the fashion shoot), uploaded it onto my iPod and got ready.

I took a long shower, put on my makeup, heels, jeans, tube top and Fedora, and I was ready to go. And after all that, I realize that it's ok to have a Down Day. You can't always be superwoman -- as long as you pick yourself up, clean yourself off and keep positive. Life is meant to be lived!

So now I'm home at 12am and had a great time. It was great seeing my old high school friends and hanging with my one of my best girls Michelle. Found out some funny gossip and realize that even though I'm going through the toughest year of my life, I truley am a very lucky girl who is very much in love.