This is a post that goes out to all of my family, friends, acquaintances, and people who have been incredibly generous and thoughtful during my battle through this. The amount of love and support I have been feeling from those around me is indescribable. Not to mention, the massive amounts of emails and cards that I receive on a weekly basis as well as the incredibly generous donations to Loving Kara.
So, thank you all for your love, support, and prayers. You have kept me smiling through the toughest of times and lifted my spirits beyond what I thought was possible.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Insert foot in mouth...
It's official. My hair is back! So much so, that as I was heading back to my office after radiation this afternoon, some guy yelled out of his truck, "hey, it's GI JANE!" I guess it didn't help that I was wearing a greenish/army color shirt, but at least it wasn't an old man telling me I should be ashamed of myself!
Not to mention, I wore mascara for the first real time yesterday. Feels so frickin' good to put that goop on my eyelashes again. Who knew adding black goop could make you feel so much like a woman?
Funny thing is, my hair has never caused so much attention! The stories just keep rolling in.
So, there is this guy at work...let's call him Matt. When I was first wearing wigs all the time at work, Matt would comment and say, "Hey, great haircut!" or "wow, look at you - your hair looks great." Always about the hair...This was when I was wearing my short black wig. The next day, I ran into him in the elevator and I was wearing my long brown wig. He kept staring at me. And in front of 2 other people in the elevator asked, "how....is your hair longer today, than it was yesterday? I just don't get it!" He looked so confused. So, I made some joke that I like to play around a bit with my hair...so as not to make him feel bad by releasing my "schmancer" story. But I let him know it was a wig...so wouldn't you think he'd ask someone why I was wearing a wig? Weeks went on and little by little, I stopped wearing my wigs and had little to no hair on my head at the office. Sometimes wore hats, sometimes not. Most people at the office knew why I lost my hair...
Last week, I run into Matt in the lobby. He goes on to comment on my hair cut (my shaved head)! He says, "So, Kara, really, what's up with the hair? What did you get lice or something??" So finally, after trying to dodge it the last time, I said, "No, I lost my hair from chemo. I had breast cancer."
He says, "Kara, that's not even funny. That's not something to joke about. For real, why did you shave your head. You have lice?? hehehehe!" He's laughing!
Finally, I'm like, "Matt, listen. I'm not joking! I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December. I lost my hair! But it's finally coming back!" I delivered it all with a smile, but I have never seen anyone get so white in the face as that guy! Insert foot in mouth...hehehe...
Not to mention, I wore mascara for the first real time yesterday. Feels so frickin' good to put that goop on my eyelashes again. Who knew adding black goop could make you feel so much like a woman?
Funny thing is, my hair has never caused so much attention! The stories just keep rolling in.
So, there is this guy at work...let's call him Matt. When I was first wearing wigs all the time at work, Matt would comment and say, "Hey, great haircut!" or "wow, look at you - your hair looks great." Always about the hair...This was when I was wearing my short black wig. The next day, I ran into him in the elevator and I was wearing my long brown wig. He kept staring at me. And in front of 2 other people in the elevator asked, "how....is your hair longer today, than it was yesterday? I just don't get it!" He looked so confused. So, I made some joke that I like to play around a bit with my hair...so as not to make him feel bad by releasing my "schmancer" story. But I let him know it was a wig...so wouldn't you think he'd ask someone why I was wearing a wig? Weeks went on and little by little, I stopped wearing my wigs and had little to no hair on my head at the office. Sometimes wore hats, sometimes not. Most people at the office knew why I lost my hair...
Last week, I run into Matt in the lobby. He goes on to comment on my hair cut (my shaved head)! He says, "So, Kara, really, what's up with the hair? What did you get lice or something??" So finally, after trying to dodge it the last time, I said, "No, I lost my hair from chemo. I had breast cancer."
He says, "Kara, that's not even funny. That's not something to joke about. For real, why did you shave your head. You have lice?? hehehehe!" He's laughing!
Finally, I'm like, "Matt, listen. I'm not joking! I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December. I lost my hair! But it's finally coming back!" I delivered it all with a smile, but I have never seen anyone get so white in the face as that guy! Insert foot in mouth...hehehe...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Haircut?
Hahaha -- I totally forgot to write this.
So...the other day, I'm at the office, in the kitchen, talking to Gemma. My head is shaved (as you can see) and I'm certainly not the type to go out and shave my head on my own free will.
Well, this guy from the office whom I don't normally chat with on a regular basis, but know by face only, stops dead in the kitchen and stares at me. He looks, and says, "Oh my gosh. What a dramatic hair cut. You look great - did you cut your hair??"
I looked at him, rubbed the top of my head (it feels like velvet) and said, "Yeah, you could say that."
Hahahaha -- he actually thought I did it myself! That's great!
So...the other day, I'm at the office, in the kitchen, talking to Gemma. My head is shaved (as you can see) and I'm certainly not the type to go out and shave my head on my own free will.
Well, this guy from the office whom I don't normally chat with on a regular basis, but know by face only, stops dead in the kitchen and stares at me. He looks, and says, "Oh my gosh. What a dramatic hair cut. You look great - did you cut your hair??"
I looked at him, rubbed the top of my head (it feels like velvet) and said, "Yeah, you could say that."
Hahahaha -- he actually thought I did it myself! That's great!
The 5th chapter begins...only 23 more!
So much has happened.
Work you ask? Since I had been back to work after chemo ended, my HR department came to me and told me they had the perfect Account Supervisor position for me at the agency. I was hesitant to actually make a move, but accepted. I was nervous. So much had been changing. I just moved back home with my mom, my commute was longer, my appearance was different, and now my job? But this is what I had worked SO hard for. So, I put my worries aside and took the position. As of about 2 weeks ago, I was officially promoted to the position of Account Supervisor on the L'Oreal / Garnier Nutritioniste, Skin Care brand. And I have to say, it's been great!
My hair is grooowwwwinng!!!!
Plus, the other day, a producer that I used to work with came by my desk to ask how I was feeling. He went on to tell me about a personal experience he had with breast cancer (his significant other) and the process they had to go through, which was actually very similar to mine. He then complimented me on my hair and said he really admired me for wearing it that way, and that he loved when his g-friend kept her's shaved almost 2 years after her last chemo treatment. He then went on to tell me that she has a high-end bathing suit company and she would love if I modeled for her! ME? WITH NO HAIR! MODELING!! So, the photoshoot is set for this coming Friday...we'll see how it goes! :)
Other than that, radiation just started yesterday. The first day was annoying in that I had to wait about 2+ hours, but my mom came with me (as she does to every doctor appointment) and eased any anxiety I was feeling. She is truly my best friend -- always there for me no matter what. I can't imagine a day without her.
As of today, I have had two treatments and have exactly 23 more. I was surprised that radiation was more like naptime, than actual treatment. You basically just lay on a board and a big, heavy screen surrounds you and gives you crazy radiation waves to make your cancer go away. That's pretty amazing if you ask me.
Side effects won't start happening until beginning to mid-August; so until then, I'll be smiling!
My social life has been pretty busy with weddings, parties, and resting. I went up to Buffalo this past weekend for Nate the Great's cousin's wedding and was able to meet his extended family. What great people! Everyday, I thank God for bringing him into my life.
Well, it's getting late, and my new commute and early radiation treatment has me waking at the crack of dawn. Only 23 left. And then DONZO! The 5th chapter begins and the countdown continues....
Work you ask? Since I had been back to work after chemo ended, my HR department came to me and told me they had the perfect Account Supervisor position for me at the agency. I was hesitant to actually make a move, but accepted. I was nervous. So much had been changing. I just moved back home with my mom, my commute was longer, my appearance was different, and now my job? But this is what I had worked SO hard for. So, I put my worries aside and took the position. As of about 2 weeks ago, I was officially promoted to the position of Account Supervisor on the L'Oreal / Garnier Nutritioniste, Skin Care brand. And I have to say, it's been great!
Great, feeling like I'm an integral part of the team. That my being at the office and helping construct the next steps for organizing a television shoot with a very famous and fabulous woman is needed! As of the beginning of August, I may just be best buds with SJP.
My hair is grooowwwwinng!!!!
Plus, the other day, a producer that I used to work with came by my desk to ask how I was feeling. He went on to tell me about a personal experience he had with breast cancer (his significant other) and the process they had to go through, which was actually very similar to mine. He then complimented me on my hair and said he really admired me for wearing it that way, and that he loved when his g-friend kept her's shaved almost 2 years after her last chemo treatment. He then went on to tell me that she has a high-end bathing suit company and she would love if I modeled for her! ME? WITH NO HAIR! MODELING!! So, the photoshoot is set for this coming Friday...we'll see how it goes! :)
Other than that, radiation just started yesterday. The first day was annoying in that I had to wait about 2+ hours, but my mom came with me (as she does to every doctor appointment) and eased any anxiety I was feeling. She is truly my best friend -- always there for me no matter what. I can't imagine a day without her.
As of today, I have had two treatments and have exactly 23 more. I was surprised that radiation was more like naptime, than actual treatment. You basically just lay on a board and a big, heavy screen surrounds you and gives you crazy radiation waves to make your cancer go away. That's pretty amazing if you ask me.
Side effects won't start happening until beginning to mid-August; so until then, I'll be smiling!
My social life has been pretty busy with weddings, parties, and resting. I went up to Buffalo this past weekend for Nate the Great's cousin's wedding and was able to meet his extended family. What great people! Everyday, I thank God for bringing him into my life.
Well, it's getting late, and my new commute and early radiation treatment has me waking at the crack of dawn. Only 23 left. And then DONZO! The 5th chapter begins and the countdown continues....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Bitter
Allison and Katie came up to visit last week to bring not only smiles to my face while dealing with the after effects of my surgery, but an array of flowers! They're the best. (Thanks ladies - miss you already!)
Since they had just driven a good 3 hours, we decided to go for lunch....so, we headed to the Pompton Queen Diner. I wanted to look good for the girls despite my surgery, so I had on a black dress (actually, my black pajamas to cover my drains) and my jean jacket on top. Plus, a little army-looking hat, some red lipstick and big diamond studs. I looked great, if I must say so myself -- only 1 week after surgery!
As we got to the diner, we started to approach the front door. As we are walking up the stairs, an old man was standing there. He looked at me in a friendly way and said, "Do you have hair under there?" And I looked at him in a sweet voice, and said, "No, I actually do not."
Do you know what he said? You're never going to believe this:
"YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF."
You know what I said back? "Oh, really because I have cancer sir!"
I was hot on my toes. I actually did the head jab like those girls from the hood! I couldn't believe it. My roommates from college stood there in shock. We all couldn't believe this bitter old man just approached me about my hair and then made a very rude and obnoxious comment because I am bald!
After I said that to him, he looked away and started laughing as though he just put is big fat, old, foot in his mouth. Ugh. I was fuming! And a little shaky.
Later on, we went to my sister's house for the 4th of July fireworks being set off at the town high school. We had a great time! And I got to show off my new healthy set of tatas.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
1 week, 2 drains, and some corners
It's one week after surgery and it feels like an eternity.
Today, I woke up bright eyed and sunny. It was 8:30am and I was ready to start my day. Tomorrow is the PTHS high school fireworks and you can see them from my sister, Dana's backyard. So my plan for today, was to bake some brownies and cupcakes for tomorrow night for her guests and my sweet-toothed boyfriend who's last name actually means sweet (Nate Dolce)! Plus, I wanted to prepare for my roomies from college, Allison and Katie, to come visit! They're coming tomorrow!!
I came downstairs and had a nice little cup of Joe with my mom before she headed off to work. Just as my mom left, I went upstairs and looked in the mirror: my damn, frickin', crappy, annoying drains were leaking!
For those of you who don't know the process, when you have breast reconstruction (otherwise known as fabulous boobies put in that are cancer-free!!!!), the doctor inserts drains in your body to get rid of the excess fluid your body produces. These drains can stay in for several days, or over a week. Well, with the luck I've had this past year, of course, the drain experience was no different. I still have them and they are nothing but a big pain in the a$$, or brea$t, actually.
So, needless to say, my corners were down today. I was frustrated. Annoyed. Wanting to scream; so, I spoke with the doctor hoping these suckers were coming out today. But needless to say, the nurse said no. Ugh!
It took a while for me to get out of my funk. But with a nurturing hug and kiss from my mom, a few uplifting and loving calls from The Great, some pic's of his new nephew Kevin (so cute), a smiley text from Stacey, friendly check-in from my gal from work Sandi, some Oreo's and 90210, I felt better. Whew.
At about 4pm, I hit the shower and immediately felt a sense of relief. I put on a really cute dress, red lipstick and my "Carrie Bradshaw" shoes and met my mom at the A&P to get the goods for making the cupcakes and brownies for my sweet.
So, now my day is looking up and my corners are too! Hooray!
PS. Thanks for all the happy notes that you all have sent to my mom after reading my blog. Keep 'em coming and feel free to comment on my postings!
Today, I woke up bright eyed and sunny. It was 8:30am and I was ready to start my day. Tomorrow is the PTHS high school fireworks and you can see them from my sister, Dana's backyard. So my plan for today, was to bake some brownies and cupcakes for tomorrow night for her guests and my sweet-toothed boyfriend who's last name actually means sweet (Nate Dolce)! Plus, I wanted to prepare for my roomies from college, Allison and Katie, to come visit! They're coming tomorrow!!
I came downstairs and had a nice little cup of Joe with my mom before she headed off to work. Just as my mom left, I went upstairs and looked in the mirror: my damn, frickin', crappy, annoying drains were leaking!
For those of you who don't know the process, when you have breast reconstruction (otherwise known as fabulous boobies put in that are cancer-free!!!!), the doctor inserts drains in your body to get rid of the excess fluid your body produces. These drains can stay in for several days, or over a week. Well, with the luck I've had this past year, of course, the drain experience was no different. I still have them and they are nothing but a big pain in the a$$, or brea$t, actually.
So, needless to say, my corners were down today. I was frustrated. Annoyed. Wanting to scream; so, I spoke with the doctor hoping these suckers were coming out today. But needless to say, the nurse said no. Ugh!
It took a while for me to get out of my funk. But with a nurturing hug and kiss from my mom, a few uplifting and loving calls from The Great, some pic's of his new nephew Kevin (so cute), a smiley text from Stacey, friendly check-in from my gal from work Sandi, some Oreo's and 90210, I felt better. Whew.
At about 4pm, I hit the shower and immediately felt a sense of relief. I put on a really cute dress, red lipstick and my "Carrie Bradshaw" shoes and met my mom at the A&P to get the goods for making the cupcakes and brownies for my sweet.
So, now my day is looking up and my corners are too! Hooray!
PS. Thanks for all the happy notes that you all have sent to my mom after reading my blog. Keep 'em coming and feel free to comment on my postings!
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